Death Valley!
By: Bob Dragich

I don't know about you, but nothing says "Christmas" to me like. . .

Death Valley!

Being the popular guy I am and having nowhere to go and nothing to do for Christmas, I loaded up the Little Bike that Could and headed for Death Valley. The only present I wanted was to be able to do a little riding where the temperature was above freezing, and preferably without any rain. A quick check on weather.com confirmed the average high for the month in the Valley was 71 degrees Fahrenheit.

The first day of riding was a little crisp, but the morning of the second day, I awoke to be greeted by a wall of frigid air when I opened the hotel room door. Arriving in the lobby for the continental breakfast, I inquired as to the low temperature for the evening before. "15 degrees, sir."

Crikey. By 10:00 a.m. it was in the mid-50s, so I suited up and headed out to the bike. "Say, what's this pool of frozen water underneath the motor? Must be condensation. Yeah, that's what it is."

I had forgotten that the cooling system was filled with distilled water, and not antifreeze. All the little crystallizing H2O molecules found a loose hose fitting from which to escape, leaving the radiator and cylinders undamaged. However, very few of their companions were left behind to handle the chore of keeping the motor from melting.

Despite that, because it was so cold and that Suzuki is built so well, it ran all day on less than a quart of water. All day, that is, except for the last 20 miles before the hotel door.

There was this absolutely gorgeous straightaway that was begging. . no, pleading to be abused, and since I hadn't seen a single vehicle with a red light on top for two days, I looked down at the little blue bike beneath me and said, "OK, let's see what you got."

As the revs came up, so did the temp on the digital coolant gauge. The SV usually runs about 81 degrees C, but it kept climbing. 84-86-94. And this was a very cool day, thermatically speaking. When it hit one-o-seven, I pulled to the side and hit the kill button. After waiting for five minutes, I started it up. 77 degrees. Let's go!

But the temp came right up again. I pulled over. Still water in the reservoir, plenty of oil, no wires loose. I could see the lights of lovely downtown Lone Pine in the distance as the sunlight and ambient temperature rapidly waned.

I pulled out the cell phone thinking, "This will never work." What's this? Signal strength bars on the display? Hallelujah.

911. A young woman's voice: "California Highway Patrol, may I help you?"

"I'm screwed."

"Excuse me sir?"

"I'm 20 miles from nowhere and my motorcycle just quit."

"Can you be a little more specific, sir? '20 miles from nowhere' is a little vague."

"Oh, yeah. I think I'm about 20 miles east of Lone Pine on 190."

"I don't know what you want me to do, sir. All of our officers are busy."

"Let me put it this way. I'm definitely more than middle-aged, I'm a little portly, I've got white hair, I'm wearing a red suit and this is Christmas day."

"I'll send somebody right out," she laughed.

Just then the only vehicle I had seen in half an hour came rushing down the hill toward me. I stuck out my thumb and the new SUV when into a full, four-wheel lock, sliding by me. It turned out to be a young family from Milan, Italy who were on THE TRIP of their lifetimes. It was a younger father, his alarmingly attractive blonde Italian wife and their two children who were in the last days before their parents became a total embarrassment for the next 15 years. We had a great conversation in broken English (mine more broken than theirs), they dropped me off right at my motel and I got the Nissan and rescued the SV.

Moral? If you get stranded on Christmas day in the middle of a U.S. desert and you look a little like Santy Claus, a family from across the globe just might fly in for the sole purpose of keeping your too-dumb-to-fill-the-rad-with-antifreeze ass from freezing off.

A special thanks on this trip to TCM Products . An errant shoe lace caused the SV to tip over in the hotel parking lot. The TCM frame slider, bar ends and solid foot peg kept damage down to a 1/8" nick in the left mirror.

Thanks again to:

American Suzuki (this isn't the first cult bike of the new millenium for no reason, y'know) Arai Helmets Competition Werkes Fender Eliminator CRG Mirrors Cycle West, Petaluma, CA EBC Brakes Factory Pro Tuning Components (billet engine cover w/slider, ignition advancer, shift kit, BMC air filter, and a carb kit that works flawlessly from -200 to +9500 feet) Galfer Brake Lines Gerbing's Electric Wear GPR Stabilizers Helimot European Accessories (Helimot Gloves and Daytona Boots) Holeshot Performance (fork brace) Lockhart Phillips M4 Exhaust Systems Metzeler Tires Motul Oil Penske Shocks Race Tech RKA Luggage TCM Products (frame sliders and footpegs) Tour Master

Have a Happy New Year!

Bob Dragich